Kissing Others in Shul

Question: I kissed my crying son in shul to soothe him but was advised that this was inappropriate. However, I've noticed others engaging in similar behaviour. What are the proper guidelines?

Answer: The Rema (OC 98:1) instructs that fathers should refrain from kissing their children in shul, as the shul is a place dedicated to expressing one's love for Hashem (Sefer Chassidim 255). R’ Avraham Yitzchak Kook (Orach Mishpat OC 22) extends this prohibition to include kissing any family members or friends.

The Ben Ish Chai (Vayikra 1:11) clarifies that while kissing young children in shul should be avoided, the Sefardi minhag of kissing the hand of a talmid chacham is commendable because it signifies respect rather than personal affection. Similarly, one may kiss one’s father or Rabbi after being called up for an aliya, provided this is the customary practice (see Kaf Hachaim OC 151:6; Ohr Letzion 2:45:55). R’ Ovadia Yosef (Yechave Daas 4:12) further explains that honouring such individuals is, in fact, a way of honouring Hashem, much like the requirement to stand in their presence, even within a shul. However, one should avoid kissing other relatives who are not accorded the same level of honour.

The Piskei Teshuvos (98:7) suggests that since this halacha appears in the context of the laws of tefilla rather than general hilchos beis haknesses, the prohibition might only apply during davening. He cites R’ Yisrael Avraham Alter Landau (Beis Yisrael OC 1:9), who points out that Moshe kissed Aharon on Har Sinai because the shechina was not present at that moment.

Nevertheless, R’ Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer EH 3:10) rules that during a chuppa in a shul, one must avoid embracing or kissing relatives, as such expressions of affection are always forbidden within a shul (see Rivevos Ephraim 2:66). The Piskei Teshuvos (98) adds that it would be permissible to kiss a child in shul if the intention is solely to calm them down, as this act is not an expression of affection but a necessary measure.

In conclusion, kissing children in shul should generally be avoided, even after davening. However, it is permissible to do so if it is necessary to soothe a crying child.