Children Waiting after Meat

Question: At what age should children begin waiting between meat and milk?

Answer: The Shulchan Aruch (OC 343:1) writes that parents mustn’t feed their children non-kosher food. Thus, one can’t even feed a baby meat and milk together. How long children need to wait after eating meat before eating milky foods depends primarily on their age.

The Rema (OC 328:17) writes that very young children have a similar halachic status as a choleh shein bo sakanah (a bedridden patient), who doesn’t need to wait long between eating one meal and the next. Thus, R’ Shmuel Wosner (Shevet Halevi 4:84) and R’ Moshe Stern (Be’er Moshe 8:36:4) write that one can feed babies milk just after they’ve eaten meat, though the baby’s mouth should be cleaned first (See Chochmas Adam 40:13).

R’ Mordechai Yaakov Breish (Chelkas Yaakov YD:16; 17) writes that children only need to wait an hour until they’re nine. R’ Ovadia Yosef (Yabia Omer 1:YD:4; 3:YD:3) writes that if older children want to have a milky meal, they only need to wait an hour. He writes that one shouldn’t, however, utilise this leniency to give them chocolate treats, etc.

Other poskim disagree, however, writing that parents are obligated to begin educating children as soon as they are old enough to understand the concept of milky and meaty foods. R’ Moshe Stern writes that children should begin waiting an hour after eating meaty foods when they are 3 years old.

R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:435) writes that children should begin waiting three hours when they are about five or six and wait (about) six hours when they reach nine or ten.

The Aruch Hashulchan (YD 89:7) writes that older children should wait longer than an hour unless they are weak.

In conclusion, babies can be fed milk after meat providing their mouths are clean. As children mature, they should be trained to wait longer. Certainly, children who are weaker or have health issues shouldn’t be encouraged to wait too long.

Responding to Another Minyan

Question: Occasionally, I daven in a shul that has multiple minyanim going on at the same time and I can hear another minyan clearly while I am davening. Is it correct to respond to their kaddish and kedusha, etc?

Answer: The Gemara (Pesachim 85b) teaches that even an iron wall does not act as a barrier for tefilla. Thus, the Shulchan Aruch (OC 55:20) writes that one may respond to kaddish and kedusha from another room. The Rema (OC 125:1) writes that if one walks into a shul while they are saying kedusha¸ they must join in even if they have already said it.

R’ Chaim Kanievsky (quoted in Ishei Yisrael 24:n62) maintains that one who is davening and hears kedusha from another minyan needs to respond. R’ Eliezer Waldenberg (Tzitz Eliezer 11:3; 12:49:4) quote opinions that even the chazzan would have to respond to the other minyan (see Yabia Omer OC 9:3).

Nonetheless, R’ Ephraim Greenblatt (Rivevos Ephraim 1:89:2) writes that according to R’ Yosef Shalom Elyashiv and others, one would only respond to kedusha in one’s own minyan, especially if doing so would disrupt one’s concentration. This would even apply to one saying pesukei dezimra (See Shearim Metzuyanim Behalacha 20:1). Similarly, R’ Shmuel Wosner (Shevet Halevi 9:43) and R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 2:74) write that while one is allowed to answer to kedusha, one does not need to do so, particularly if it will distract them from their davening.

Likewise, R’ Waldenberg writes that when part of one minyan, one would not need to respond to any other, following the rule of haosek bemitzva, patur min hamitzva, one who is involved in one mitzva is exempt from performing another simultaneously. One may respond to kedusha and barechu if they wish (see Ishei Yisrael 24:16; 28). Nonetheless, he stresses that one should try one’s utmost to daven in a minyan where one cannot hear other minyanim concurrently.

In conclusion, one may answer kedusha and barechu, etc. to another minyan if it will not distract one from one’s own davening. One should avoid this situation where possible by davening in a place where they are less likely to be disturbed from outside.

Guests and Shabbos Candles

Question: We’ve been invited by some friends to Friday night dinner. Where should we light our Shabbos candles?

Answer: The Shulchan Aruch (OC 263:9) writes that one who lights their candles inside their house but eats in the courtyard needs to ensure that their candles burn longer so that they can see them when they come back inside. Failure to do so will result in the beracha being a beracha levatala. The Mishna Berura (263:40) writes that while it is ideal for the candles to burn into the night, it is sufficient even if they burn during his meal when one eats before nacht (See Baer Heitev 263:14).

The Shulchan Aruch (OC 263:6) writes that students who learn away from home should ideally light their Shabbos candles in their bedrooms. Thus, the Mishna Berura (263:46) writes that while the hosts should light on the Shabbos table, guests should ideally light in their own room even if they aren’t eating there at all.

Following this, R’ Ephraim Greenblatt (Rivevos Ephraim 1:183) writes that one eating out though sleeping at home should ideally light at their own house. It is ideal if they can leave the candles burning until they come home, though if necessary they can stay with them for a few minutes before they go out (See Minchas Yitzchak 10:20).

Likewise, R’ Yehoshua Neuwirth (Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 45:8) writes that while children who visit their parents for Friday night dinner often light together with their parents, they should ideally light in their own houses.

If lighting at one’s house isn’t an option, then one can light in their host’s house. Even though their host has lit candles one can still light with a beracha as they are adding to the light (Mishna Berura 263:35).

In conclusion, it is preferable to light where one sleeps on Friday night, rather than where one eats.

Travelling on a Taanis

Question: I am travelling to Israel on asara b’teves. Can I end my fast when it ends in Israel or do I need to wait until the fast ends in England?

Answer: R’ Shmuel Wosner (Shevet Halevi 7:76; 8:261:2) writes that as there are some poskim (Tosafos, Avoda Zara 34a; Vilna Gaon OC 562:1; Aruch Hashulchan OC 562:9) who hold that the minor fasts (asara b’teves, shiva asar b’tammuz and taanis Esther) end at shekia, one who started their fast earlier due to travel may rely on these opinions and end their fast at shekia. One travelling from Israel to America, for example, who found their taanis significantly lengthened, would be able to end their fast early if necessary, based on the timing of their departure city. One doing so must only eat what’s necessary, and not eat a proper meal until the fast is over in their arrival city. R’ Ephraim Greenblatt (Rivevos Ephraim 8:176) writes that one doing so should only eat in a quiet area and not in public where they’ll be seen by others. R’ Wosner doesn’t, however, address the scenario of one travelling eastwards who has their taanis shortened.

R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 4:122) writes that we are always lenient for these three minor fasts. Thus, whether one was travelling from Israel to England or England to Israel, they would end their fast at the earlier Israeli time. He quotes R’ Dovid Menachem Munish Babad (Chavatzeles Hasharon 1:YD:47) who writes that just as a boy turns bar mitzva when he turns 13 and we don’t need to calculate that it has been 13 complete years based on the location where he was born, so too, we don’t need to ascertain when a person travelling began performing other mitzvos.

R’ Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe OC 3:96), however, writes that one fasts according to where they’re located. Thus, one travelling on a taanis will end their fast when it is nacht in their arrival city, regardless of whether that lengthens or shortens their fast. This would even apply to one travelling on tisha b’av as there is no requirement to specifically fast for twenty four hours.

In conclusion, while there is debate regarding one travelling westwards, one travelling from England to Israel on asara b’teves may end their taanis when it is nacht in Israel even though they have shortened their fast by travelling.

Staying with the Menora

Question: I am eating out on Friday night and won't return until very late. I’m concerned about leaving my menora burning unattended for that long. Is it a problem if I’m not home during the first half hour after the menora is lit?

Answer: Since we light the menora earlier than usual on Friday, we must ensure that there is enough oil or that the candles are long enough to burn for at least half an hour after tzeis hakochavim. The Chayei Adam (2:154:18) writes that if one does not provide enough oil or candles to burn for this duration, the mitzva has not been fulfilled. R’ Yaakov Katz (Shev Yaakov OC 22) writes that remaining with the menora for half an hour is an integral part of the mitzva of lighting the menora. Thus, we recite "ein lanu reshus.. ela lirosam bilvad," indicating that while we are not allowed to benefit from the lights, we should stay to see them (see Yalkut Yosef 677:2).

Similarly, the Aruch Hashulchan (OC 673:3) writes that one should not light their menora with fuel that emits an unpleasant odour, as it may cause people to leave the room. Following this, R’ Ephraim Greenblatt (Rivevos Ephraim 8:266:4) stresses the importance of remaining in the room with the menora for half an hour while it is lit.

R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:394) quotes the Chavos Yair (Mekor Chaim 672), who writes that remaining with the menora for half an hour is an integral part of the mitzva. R’ Sternbuch adds that while this is a commendable practice, it isn’t an essential part of the mitzva itself, though he encourages people to do so, especially if there are young children present.

In conclusion, so long as one ensures that the lights can burn for half an hour after tzeis hakochavim, it is not strictly necessary to stay with the menora. However, it is commendable to remain with the lights for that period.