Question: I have heard conflicting
things about women saying havdala. As a single woman, what should I do?
Answer: The Rema (OC 296:8) writes
that as the Shulchan Aruch brings two opinions as to whether women are
obligated to say havdala or not, they should not recite it themselves,
but should listen to a man saying it instead. The Mishna Berura (296:34)
explains that women are obviously obligated to keep all laws of Shabbos. The
difference of opinion lies in whether havdala is treated as a part of
Shabbos, or as a regular time-bound mitzva (such as tefillin which women are exempt from). The Taz (OC
296:7) points out, however, that women must say hamavdil bein kodesh lechol
before doing any melacha.
The Biur Halacha writes
that women may make havdala, though should omit the beracha of meoiray haeish on the candle. The Aruch
Hashulchan (OC 296:5), R’ Moshe Feinstein (CM 2:47) and R’ Ephraim Greenblatt
(Rivevos Ephraim 1:273; 6:172), however, write that women may say this beracha, too, in the same way as they would on shaking a lulav
if they wish to do so. Likewise, R’
Eliezer Waldenberg (Tzitz Eliezer 14:43)
criticizes the calendars that advise women against making the beracha on candles.
One reason why women avoid
making havdala is because the Shelah (quoted by the Magen Avraham OC 296:4)
writes that women shouldn’t drink the havdala wine (for Kabbalistic
reasons). The Aruch Hashulchan points out that not everyone keeps this custom,
and it’s more important to properly fulfill havdala.
In conclusion, you should
say havdala complete with all the berachos.
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