Sunday, 19 February 2023

Beracha on Becoming a Grandparent

Question: I just became a grandparent for the first time. Can I say shehecheyanu?

Answer: The Gemara (Berachos 59b) teaches that one recites the beracha of hatov vehametiv upon hearing that their wife has given birth to a boy (see Shulchan Aruch OC 223:1).

The Elya Rabba (223:1) quotes the Sefer Chassidim (843) who relates that one particular elder recited this beracha upon hearing that that he had a grandson.

However, the Rashba (4:77) writes that one cannot just recite the beracha of hatov vehametiv on anything that brings them happiness. The Mishna Berura (Biur Halacha 64:1) adds that the other poskim do not concur with the Sefer Chasidim. Thus, he advises that one refrain from reciting the beracha.

R' Chaim Naeh (Ketzos Hashulchan 64:11) challenges the Mishna Berura, arguing that the Elya Rabba must have known about the Rashba’s Teshuva, yet still chose to follow the Sefer Chasidim (see Piskei Teshuvos 223:n15).

Nonetheless, the Kaf Hachaim (OC 223:3) quotes the Chida (Bris Olam on Sefer Chassidim 843) who writes that one should recite the beracha without Hashem’s names. Likewise, R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichos Shlomo, Tefilla, Devar Halacha 23:14), R’ Ovadia Yosef (Yalkut Yosef, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 223:8) and R' Chaim Kanievsky (Shoneh Halachos 223:3; Dirshu Mishna Berura 223:n5) maintained that one should not recite any beracha upon hearing the news of a grandchild. Nonetheless, when R’ Shlomo Zalman became a grandfather, he arranged for two different wines so he could say hatov vehametiv (Halichos Shlomo, Tefilla 23:n43). Alternatively, one can wear a new item of clothing and recite shehecheyanu (Yalkut Yosef ibid.).

In conclusion, if one wishes to recite a beracha upon having a grandchild, one should either obtain a new fruit and say shehecheyanu, or two special wines and say hatov vehametiv.

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