How much Water for Mayim Acharonim?

Question: Are we just supposed to wash the tips of our fingers when washing mayim acharonim?

Answer: The Beis Yosef (OC 181:8) quotes Rabbeinu Bachye (Shulchan Shel Arba 1:1) who writes that there are thirteen differences between netilas yadayim for bread and mayim acharonim. One difference is that while one needs to wash all of one’s hands before eating bread, one only needs to wash one’s fingers for mayim acharonim.

Nonetheless, he writes that we pasken like the Rashba (Torah Habayis 6:1 69a) who writes that one only needs to wash until the second joint of one’s fingers.

The Beis Yosef (OC 181:8) lists another one of Rabbeinu Bachye’s differences. While one needs a revi’is for netilas yadayim, there is no specific shiur for how much water to use for mayim acharonim.

The Kaf Hachaim (OC 181:6) writes that one should be particular to only use a few drops of water for Kabbalistic reasons. Likewise, it is commendable to remove the used water (ibid. 8).

However, the Ashkenazi poskim disagree. The Mishna Berura (181:10) and Aruch Hashulchan (OC 181:7) both criticize those who just wash the tips of their fingers, writing that one needs to wash the top two joints of one’s fingers. While the Vilna Gaon (Maaseh Rav 84) maintained that one must use a revi’is and wash with a kli, the other acharonim do not require this.

In conclusion, while some Sefardim should use the small mayim acharonim sets that are both small and hide the used water, Ashkenazim who wash, should wash with a regular cup or in a sink.

Women Washing Mayim Acharonim

Question: Should women wash their hands for mayim acharonim?

Answer: The Gemara (Berachos 53b; Eruvin 17b; Chullin 105a) teaches that one must wash one’s hands at the end of the meal in order to remove melach sedomis, a poisonous salt. Thus, Rambam (Berachos 6:2) and the Shulchan Aruch (OC 181:1) write that mayim acharonim, washing one’s hands at the end of the meal, is obligatory. Nonetheless, The Tur (OC 181:10) and Shulchan Aruch (OC 181:10) quote Tosafos (Berachos 53b) who defends the practice of those who do not wash their hands, arguing that we no longer need to be concerned about melach sedomis. The Rema (Darkei Moshe OC 181:1) notes that this is the normative Ashkenazi custom. R’ Yaakov Emden (Mor Uketzia 181) explains that nowadays when people eat with cutlery, one does not need to be so concerned about melach sedomis. Nonetheless, that would not apply to one holding bread with their hands.

Nonetheless, the Magen Avraham (181:10) writes that one should still wash nowadays for kabbalistic reasons. Likewise, the Mishna Berura (181:22 quoting the Gra), Aruch Hashulchan (OC 181:5) and the Kaf Hachaim (OC 181:27) stress the importance of this practise.

R’ Yaakov Emden writes that one must inform women that they, too, are obligated to wash their hands. R’ Ephraim Greenblatt (Rivevos Ephraim 1:140:4) explains that all of the reasons for mayim acharonim apply equally to men and women.

Nonetheless, R’ Shmuel Wosner (Shevet Halevi 4:23) writes that as the reason of melach sedomis no longer applies, women never committed themselves to this practice. Similarly, R’ Moshe Sternbuch (Teshuvos Vehanhagos 1:174) and the Piskei Teshuvos (181:1) note that women often do not observe those halachos that we practise for kabbalistic reasons (see Dirshu Mishna Berura 181:n16).

In conclusion, while some women wash mayim acharonim after eating, the general practice is that women do not wash.