Throwing Sweets at a Chassan

Question: If we are not allowed to throw food then how can we throw sweets at a chassan at his aufruf?

Answer: The Gemara (Berachos 50b) teaches that as bread is more important than other food, one should never throw bread. Likewise, one must not throw unwrapped food that could get ruined.

Thus, Rambam (Berachos 7:9) and the Shulchan Aruch (OC 171:1) write that one must treat food in a respectful manner. R’ Yehoshua Neuwirth (Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasa 20:29) adds that this even applies to food that one is not allowed to eat, such as chametz on Pesach. The Magen Avraham (OC 171:1) explains that when one treats food disrespectfully, one is demonstrating a lack of gratitude to Hashem for His gifts.

The Aruch Hashulchan (OC 171:3) and Mishna Berura (171:9) write that the Gemara’s restriction against throwing specifically applies to bread even if it will not get ruined. Other food, however, may be thrown providing that it will not get ruined. Thus, the Magen Avraham (167:38) and Mishna Berura (167:88) write that when one says hamotzi on behalf of others, he must pass the bread to them rather than throw it.

The Gemara (ibid.) teaches that people used to throw nuts towards the chassan and kalla. Nowadays, people typically throw sweets or small bags of food at a chassan when he gets his aliya on his Shabbos aufruf. While this almost universal custom has no real mekor, Sefer Taamei Haminhagim (EH 26:7) explains the significance behind many of the foods that people throw. The Kaf Hachaim (OC 171:26) and Mishna Berura (171:21) write that those who do so should not throw soft sweets that will get ruined. The Magen Avraham (OC 171:1) and Aruch Hashulchan (OC 171:5) add that one who sees food on the floor must pick it up.

In conclusion, one can throw sweets at a chassan providing that they would not get ruined and are immediately picked up.